How or through whom did you come into contact with ritual abuse?

I came into contact with ritual abuse, from what I remember, through my father, only that my father had nothing to do with it. He still doesn’t know anything about how it happened, but it must have happened through my father’s boss. My father was a bodyguard, personally assigned to a boss, the boss of a big German bank. And with him, with this boss, these memories are also present in some rituals, which is why I’m pretty sure that it must have had something to do with my father’s boss at the time.

What are the typical experiences you have had as a victim?

Typical experiences were manipulation rituals, programming rituals with me, but also with other children. I also remember again and again that other children were also there in larger crowds, also in such rooms where children were basically brought into the rooms, also for programming, for questioning. Then I remember rituals, such as manhunts, child hunts in the forest in the greater Frankfurt area, where these people belonging to the lodge, hunted children at night from jeeps, to my knowledge with tranquilizer darts, not with the intention of killing, but simply with the intention of hunting, not to kill them, at least not yet during the hunt. The children then ran away. I was also there several times. Even as an adult, I was involuntarily involved once, I remember that. And the children ran for their lives, because of course they didn’t know whether they would be killed. Then I remember witchcraft rituals, where the aim was to teach witchcraft and black magic by means of mind manipulation, so I was also trained in that. For example, killing a rabbit in the next room with the power of my mind, which is ultimately just witchcraft, and then I was supposed to kill it with my thoughts. And it worked. I was then also taken to the other room, the neighboring room where this rabbit had been, and I was deadly sad that this rabbit had been killed and that it was supposed to have been me. Then I remember sexual rituals, sexual programming, be it oral sex, which was programmed into children here, and me in particular, was practiced, trained in how it should be and that I had to do it. For me, with men, it was mostly these training sessions, these rituals. Then I remember a ritual where I was supposed to attend and be kept conscious, where a boy between the ages of seven and ten was lying on an altar in the middle of the room, surrounded by adults. I wanted to fall unconscious because I couldn’t watch it, and what happened in the end was that during the ritual this boy was cut on the calf, probably so that the people present could eat the flesh. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to see that because I fainted.

What was your worst experience?

The worst experience was the ritual where the boy was lying on the altar, seven to ten-year-old boy, where I was supposed to be present to traumatize me, possibly to dissociate, I strongly assume. That was one of the worst experiences that didn’t happen to me, where I was supposed to watch this boy being cut on the calf. That was one of the worst things. They deliberately kept me conscious, kept holding me up by the arms, so that I had to stand and watch. This boy was still alive, not fully conscious, partly conscious, but certainly not dead. He was still alive when it was done to him. That was one of the worst things. Apart from all the abuse I suffered myself, of course, that was absolutely awful too. This coercion on me. And what also haunted my dreams at night for many years was the ritual where I was taken into a room with three high priests in it, a darkened room, a locked room. There was also a snake there. There were three high priests with animal masks on. I recognized one of them as my father’s boss from his voice and stature. I’m pretty sure he was the high priest in the middle of the three. And these three people, high priests, were wearing animal masks. One had a rabbit mask on, the other mask had horns. Maybe it was a billy goat with horns, I can’t remember exactly. In any case, it was animal masks and they quizzed me, asked me very private questions about lies and truth. I was still a small child, it was very unpleasant for me, and I didn’t know what they were trying to achieve, and of course they were also trying to manipulate me mentally and push me in a certain direction, and what I remember is that I was told again and again as a child, but also as an adult, that I wasn’t allowed to tell anyone. That was always a very important part of it, that I wasn’t allowed to tell anyone what was happening. “You can’t tell anyone about this.” It then came back in my dreams as nightmares, or because it had just happened. And then I had to go to my parents at night and sleep with them, because I couldn’t bear these fears. These rituals haunted me for a very long time.

How do the perpetrators get the children to comply?

How they do it — I can only talk about what I witnessed. But I also saw it myself when I lived in the Frankfurt area as an adult woman. In my front yard, how it works, it’s either drugs, the children are given drugs. They first have to get them there, to get close to them, either with sweets or with other things. If the child doesn’t take them voluntarily, the parents are often brought in to help, so the parents give the children drugs and also bring the children to these places, I’ve seen that myself live. And another possibility that I have experienced — so these are all possibilities that I have experienced myself or that I have seen — another possibility is a trance state, that you create a trance state in the child, be it close to sleepiness, that the child is kind of sleepy, that you put it into a trance, that you can take it with you for the time being, and that it doesn’t resist and doesn’t have any bad feelings or scream or anything. So trance, drugs, but also with the help and support of the parents, if they are involved. In my case, I also know from the behavior of the perpetrators, who did it again in adulthood, that it must be the Rosicrucians. They have partly revealed themselves to me, I always have to say that I’m not imagining it. For example, when I heard the word “rose”, it triggered me and I fell into a kind of trance. At the riding stable I was at, I was given roses when I went there. When I saw roses, I also went into a trance, or when I received some in my hand. I’m pretty sure they were Rosicrucians. Of course, they belong to a larger lodge, and I have to say right away, that, in a case of uncertainty, most lodges work together when it comes to intimidating people or saving their asses if a situation catches fire, and therefore the request to everyone else to also say who did it.

Finally, do you have a personal concern or message?

My concern is, having experienced when it happened to me again as an adult, this abuse, but also this prostitution and the stalking and the threats and the harassment. It happened to me again that no matter where I sought help, whether from the police, relatives, friends, family, or women’s shelters, it was not possible to find protection, to find help, either these people were not in a position to help, because they had no influence to change anything or to protect me, or they did not want to or they were infiltrated, I had experienced this very often. That institutions or the police, generally speaking, or women’s shelters, are infiltrated to a certain extent and then even help [the perpetrators] when these victims, like me, seek protection or help. And what I experienced is that even before this happened to me as an adult woman, I was able to learn shortly beforehand that there is the possibility of giving your life to Jesus Christ. I had already done that back then, and I was already a believer, confirmed and baptized, and remembered that there is only one God, and that my greatest God, my God, the Almighty, is our God, the father of Jesus Christ. And my concern is that everyone who is looking for help and doesn’t know how to get out of it gives their life to Jesus Christ. Because Jesus Christ has destroyed the devil through his death on the cross. And no one else has the power to crush the devil except Jesus Christ. And I’m sorry to tell you, if you’re looking for help right now, or if you don’t know where to go or if you see this, and you don’t know what to do and you’re desperate, turn to God. Because he hears you. And no one else will be able to help you, because for me it was close. I didn’t have much left. Except possibly even death, which my abusers would have brought about, or in some other way. And I fell to my knees and begged God to please help me. And he helped me. And I have been free since that day. I have become free from the perpetrators. I have become free from Satanism and its machinations. It took a long time, I needed support from other believers who helped me, but my message is that it’s the only way to get out of it. And if you are looking for help, then turn to Jesus Christ. He will help you.