How or through whom did you come into contact with ritual abuse?

I was born into an intergenerational satanic family. Both of my parents were Catholic, went to Catholic schools. Dad was educated by the Jesuits, who, we all know, are very involved in all this. So that was my beginning and how I got connected.

What are the typical experiences you have had as a victim?

The earliest thing I remember is some … what they call Disney programming. I was born in 1948, so this was early 50s. I don’t think that all that was … They didn’t have that programming together yet. But they were doing stuff with fairy tales. I remember doing stuff with Hansel and Gretel and the witch, that kind of stuff. I don’t have real clear memories of exactly what went on. But recently, as I’m trying to clear stuff and clear memories, I had this unusual experience of energy kind of coming up, moving into my eyeball, and then this reel of Disney characters like as if I had been watching it just with my left eye. Not sure what to make of it, but I had that. Probably a week previous I had a very similar experience of this energy going into my eye. And then a reel, like eight millimeter, where it keeps having light flashing of just image after image of death, poverty, hunger, all the worst stuff on the planet. So that’s my earliest memories. Another memory that I have is connected more with the MKUltra stuff. I have memories of being on a gurney surrounded by dentists. I believe they were using me to demonstrate one of the patents in the MKUltra patent book. This is a patent where they — if you can see it, but I’ll try and get it close — where they put stuff in your teeth. It’s like crystals and electronics. And the point is to connect the nerves of the teeth with the nerves of the face. And then they say that it’s to improve your hearing, but I think it was used for something very different. For me, that has to do with a kind of nasty mind state that was installed. And then mostly, within the cult, I was used as a sex slave. Early on, it was for child porn and just sex stuff with priests. When we moved to Lafayette — this first part was in Lake Charles. Then when we moved into Lafayette — because dad was in the oil business, and it’s kind of like the army, you get moved around a lot — mostly I was used as a sex slave, but I was also trained as an assassin. And I believe that the first time they sent me out on a job solo, which was, I think, my sophomore year in high school, that I simply didn’t kill the guy. It’s a lot like mafia hits. It’s very similar. The fact that I didn’t kill him made me untrustworthy within the cult and demoted my status as a “black widow”. That’s what you call someone who’s both an assassin and a sex slave. I had some protection. No one outside of the cult knew what I was doing, what I was trained in, anything like that. The fact that I didn’t kill the guy had the positive effect that it saved me and I think it’s why, after I finished college, they just kind of let me wander off, although they’ve been monitoring me ever since. But the other thing that it did was, it meant that I was no longer protected. And so the last two years of high school, I was used in ways that were extremely degrading and that some people in my high school knew about. So it wasn’t as secret as before. I didn’t know anything about it myself, and the front part of me had no idea what was going on. But I can remember for those two years being totally paranoid every time I went to school. So some part of me knew what was going on.

Where and in what context did it take place?

My father worked for Shell Oil, and we lived in Cajun Country. I was brought in through the Catholic Church. I can remember sexual encounters with priests in a rectory when I was young. When we moved to Lafayette — we were living in Lake Charles for those memories. When we moved to Lafayette, my father would take me to 11 o’clock Mass by himself. Mom took the rest of the children, which was five, to Mass by herself earlier. And after Mass, my father would escort me to the sacristy, where I would do sexual stuff with the priest. So that was kind of stuff that was peripheral. My main role was to help bring an oil center to Lafayette in the 60s. For a while, I would go with my father on Sundays to what is now the alumni center on campus. At the time, it belonged to the man heading up the organizing of the oil center, and it had a huge bamboo hedge around it, so you couldn’t see what was going on in the yard. When I got there, I would go into the pool, and men lounging on the side would jump in and have sex with me. They were movers and shakers in the city, who were being pulled in to help create the oil center. I would go inside the house, where I had a bizarre sexual encounter with the bishop, who would show up every Sunday. I won’t go into the details, but just give an idea. The man heading up the project was Jewish, and he found the clergy’s attitude to sex very strange. They have to turn it into a morality play, where they are punishing me for being evil. Never mind that they had created this alter and programmed it to do what it did.

How do the perpetrators get the children to comply?

There are many ways. I will give a couple of examples. The way I find the most egregious is by convincing children that they will hurt or kill someone they love if they don’t comply. So one of the examples I have is that in second grade I had a friend named Bobby. We were both very smart and loved math. We were in a split — 2nd, 3rd grade — class. So when the teacher was focused on the third graders, we just chat and do math and challenge each other. It was a lot of fun and very focused. And one day, Bobby came to school with two broken legs in a wheelchair. And then after that, I never saw him again. And I believe that I was forced to at least witness him being hurt, or possibly be part of hurting him, I’m not sure. But this and some other examples like this have created this thing in me where if somebody tells me that they love me or they want me to kind of just show them that I love them or whatever, that I just freeze. It’s like there’s a fear that they’re going to get hurt if I demonstrably love them. Another way that they do this is through creating alters. And they tend to choose people for their intelligence, not so much because they want to use their intelligence, but because people with higher IQs tend to split cleanly rather than just break and not be useful at all. So they make good alters. So the way that they create the alters is to bring you to the point where you either die or split off. So it’s usually horrendous experiences. You split off an alter to handle that trauma. In my case, this happened with a terrifying suffocating oral sexual experience at around age six.

What was your worst experience?

The one that I remember as being the most the hardest or the most painful is some sexual stuff that they did through anal pain that was so bad that I passed out. And then I kind of went into an alter that was in a state of animal. Like an animal in heat. It’s embarrassing to talk about and it was horrendous to remember. The other memory that I want to talk about is, it was not that horrendous for me physically, it was more emotionally. And I’ve spent a lot of time investigating it. It came up one day when I was in a ten-day retreat, and you just get very calm and then things open up. So the scene opens. I’m eight years old, naked, standing in a circle of dirt that’s been cleared with a little chain around my ankle and then that chain is staked into the ground. And this is… I’m not in any discomfort. This is simply theater for the satanic stuff. Setting the stage. It’s in the country after dark. I hear chanting in the distance and see a group of people in robes walking up the road chanting, “Son of Satan, kill the baby. Son of Satan, kill the baby.” And this just repeats and repeats. Leading this group is a monsignor and a priest. And they have a baby with them. The procession stops at an altar out in the forest. And the monsignor sacrifices the baby. The priest, who is the baby’s father, is in shock. I guess I need to explain a little bit about what I figured out. He had gone to World War II. And before that, he had a lot of girlfriends. And he had, during the war, decided he needed to become a priest. He went to the seminary in New Jersey so that he wouldn’t be near family and all these old girlfriends. But when he came to ordination, he went home to get ordained. And it sounds like he had just one last fling with a girlfriend who got pregnant. So about eight months later, he comes back for a visit. And in his obituary, it said that he went to the orphanage every day. Well, the orphanage also happened to be a home for unwed mothers and where this woman was, who was going to have his baby. They were told to take the baby to this monsignor, that he would find a good home for the baby, and then they would just both go on with their lives. So after delivering the baby to the monsignor, the woman was sent on her way, and the monsignor invited the priest to this gathering. It was supposed to be his initiation into the cult. It was supposed to be his initiation into the cult, and I was there as the reward. When you join the cult, this is what you get. You get sex with children. He and I went into a bedroom in the house connected to the property. The others, mostly priests and nuns, had a party, drinking and dancing in another part of the house. The priest that I was with was actually a very decent human being. He was in shock at his child being killed and was disgusted at the thought of having sex with a child — me. He was laying on a sofa in shock. I was just standing there, kind of doing what I could to comfort him. And after a while, I felt from his toes a huge “no” come up, just like, “I don’t care what it costs me.” “I am not going to stay here,” and he left. And he knew — and I knew — that he was probably signing his own death warrant by doing so. You don’t walk away from what he had just seen. I did a lot of research at the chancery for the diocese when I was older, when I was in my 40s. My mother had worked there, and the receptionist was happy to help me find this priest I was looking for — who had died. And I gave her a couple of years where I thought he had died. She let me go through a big bound copy of the Catholic registers from those years, and I found his obituary. After I found the picture and the obituary of this priest, I just kept turning the pages to see what else was there. And in a couple of pages, I found an article about a monsignor who had died in a fire in New Jersey — at the same time this guy died of a supposed heart attack. I am pretty sure that this monsignor was the mentor for the priest, and that he had gone back to New Jersey and had talked to him about what had happened. And the cult had to kill them both to stop the information.

Finally, do you have a personal concern or message?

So I have a few messages. One is for Catholics. The problem with pedophile priests is created by the Church. Probably most of these priests have been involved in Satanism, were molested as children, and are just — whether they’re aware of being involved or not, some are, some aren’t — they’re just repeating what happened. And the church has to protect them because if it lets them go and they report on what’s happening, that’s the end of the church. If people find out that Satanism is rampant in the Catholic Church. The next is, just in general, that… I’ve kept running, as I tried to tell people this, that they really don’t want to hear it. They think it’s just something that happens a little bit and that it’s probably in those other neighborhoods on the other side of the tracks. And the fact of the matter is that it’s everywhere and it’s happening mostly in the elite circles; our government, our church leaders, and corporations, big corporations. All the people at the head of those things are usually Satanists. And so it’s very important for our culture, for our world that this be exposed and stopped. It is what is making things so dark on this planet. There’s actually a section of our government which has gone rogue, which was … I’m sure somebody’s already talked about this, but Project Paperclip, where they brought over all the Nazis and put them into the OSS, which became the CIA. And they’re the ones who did the mind control. They’re the ones who are doing most of the stuff that is really repulsive at the moment. And then the last thing is … I don’t know if I showed you this book, but this is a compilation of all the patents that MKUltra created. I’ve done trauma work on all the traumas that I remember and it cleared a lot of stuff. But there was still stuff left, and it’s from these patents, and so it’s possible to clear them. Just want to let survivors know that.